Monday, April 28, 2014


Patience....ugh, not something that I seem to have when it comes to getting healthy or at least the weight loss part of it.   I eat really well and hit the gym and seem to think I should see a huge difference in me.  We can all guess what happens next when I do that body inspection in front the change!  Really, how can this happen?  I sweated and made my muscles hurt shouldn't I see something?  Shouldn't there be more shape in my legs or my belly definitely should be flatter because I hold my core posture whenever I'm on the elliptical or tread mill. 

Self sabotage my friends, just another form of it.  I am amazed at how quickly I have allowed myself to jump to these conclusions.  I know better, but that voice that is so afraid of coming out of the box and breaking through always manages to find her way into my brain space.  I know I have the ability to jump in and commit and get the job done.  I quit smoking almost five years ago, a two pack a day smoker who was seriously addicted. (would love to blame that 40 pound weight gain on that, cant)

Am I now addicted to being fat?  I had to sit down and seriously think about this.  No I am not addicted to being fat, I'm just really comfortable there.  It's really easy to be the funny energetic fat lady.  Am I totally happy there?  No I am not.  I am afraid to leave there on some levels and to be totally honest I'm not really sure why.  I guess that is why I am on this journey.

I have done so well on not emotional eating.  This is a huge success for me.  The change, allow yourself to be happy even through your struggles.  I am acknowledging to myself that happy is good and ok, wonderful and exciting.  Your journey doesn't have to be some brutal break down of everything for your journey to be a success.  There will be break downs and breakthroughs of all sizes.

I am seeing changes, not physical ones yet, but mental and emotional changes and I totally credit that with nutrition, vitamins, essential oils, exercise and movement. I thank God for giving me the strength to start this entire journey of self love so that I may give to others.

Remember to tell yourself something positive about yourself...look into the mirror and embrace what a beautiful gift that you are.

Wednesday, April 16, 2014

Staying on track

I'm plugging along pretty good with the clean eating.  I have to work a bit more in the kitchen than I'm used to but at the same time some accomplished feelings from my cooking creations.  I get to feeling pretty confident in my ways and then I have to venture outside of my happy little comfort zone which I call home.

This last weekend we had a family get together for my nieces birthday.  I knew there would be birthday cake which I was ready to bypass no problem.  I actually had a chocolate cake at home that was clean and amazing.  No cake- check.   Well they ordered in some pizza for our celebration dinner, however that was not what I went to town on.  My niece had made macaroni and cheese and home made garlic rolls!  I love garlic rolls and I ate about five of those garlic rolls and I'm not sure how much mac and cheese found it's way from the fork to my mouth.   I felt awful within 10 minutes of stuffing my face.  My stomach sounded like Mount St. Helens rumbling and the pain and bloating just kept growing to the point of I'm sure I could pass for an pregnant woman in her seventh month. Sounds funny but I am thankful that my body reacted the way that it did.  This was probably one of the clearest message ever sent to me by my body when I sabotage myself or go off track.

What really amazed me through this was how quick my body went back to wanting certain foods.  The mind quickly adapted to crap I had just fed myself and the next day was trying to tell me I needed some processed fast foods.  Yes the Granny B cookie was the first thing that started singing to me...gladly I recalled the awful tummy rumblings of the day before.

I cant always stay in that wonderful comfort zone of home and I do have to venture out into the real world.  Defiantly have to put together some plans on how to best prepare myself and handle these situations so that I am not making myself sick from eating.  A friend of mine, who has some of the best clean eating recipes that I have been trying, had written in her blog how she prepares for these kind of events by making sure that she eats before attending that way knowing she is not going to be around a lot of clean eating choices that her body has been fueled and not so tempted to partake.    Yes I read this wonderful tip after the weekend festivities. 

I have started back to the gym this week and have had two great days on the treadmill and the elliptical.  It's not a habit yet and still just a decision.  I am looking forward to the day when I don't fight myself so hard on getting some exercise.  If I'm going to be a svelte 50 year old I had best make this a habit.  Tomorrow I add in some weights...eeek.

Remember to look in the mirror and tell yourself something positive about yourself today...just go do it. 

Friday, April 11, 2014

I finally get it.

I have fumbled around looking for the best diet out there for me.  Finally it hit me...I don't want a diet.  I hate diets, I always feel deprived and get angry about it, then I seem to get defiant against myself and rebel on the diet and eat whatever I'm not supposed to just because I can.  This cycle has brought me many great success and then failure because of the "yo-yo" of it all.  I have actually grown up knowing very little about nutrition.  You serve a meat and a potato, portion size has always been just put it on the plate.  Going on a diet meant an extreme opposite of meat and potatoes, never anything balanced.

I started looking into clean eating about six months ago and have talked to quite a few people that clean eat and exercise regularly.  They feel better on so many levels.  Immediately I find a way to sabotage this.  How awful the food is going to taste or how limited I was going to be.  I took a step back and really looked into this.  How can I go wrong when I'm eating real food and not a bunch of processed chemicals.
I told myself well what about so much time cooking...really I stopped myself right there.  Enough already.  I used to cook some great meals for my family until my kids were old enough to be heavily involved in sports and fast food became our mainstay.  I feel it also became the beginning of the decline in my health.  We lived on fast food at least six nights a week because of some sport.  Home cooking became fast mixes of something instead of taking the time to prepare a meal.

About three weeks ago I made the decision that my husband and I will be clean eating.  I actually thought this one through.  I go major grocery shopping every two weeks.  I started buying my groceries based on clean eating and planned on cycling through the stuff in my cupboards and replacing everything eventually with all organic and real food.  We are getting there.  I have found myself enjoying trying a bunch of new spices and combinations to create some new meals to expand our eating horizon.
I am not hungry clean eating and in fact I find myself eating less.  Natural tastes of foods are coming through instead of a processed instant food.  I have even made a chocolate cake with cream cheese frosting that was totally clean and totally awesome!  Not deprived at all.

I am down 7 pounds without really trying.  My energy levels are rising and I do not take until 11:30 in the morning to come out of a vegetative state.  Morning coffee is down in a half hour and some house hold chores seem to be getting done before noon ever hits.   Exercise starts back up this coming week regardless if my neck is done being sore or not.  I managed to tweak it, but there is no reason I cannot be walking for extra movement and start the gym habit back at the same time.  I have to get moving for the 5k I am doing in June.

I finally understand a life style change truly....Thank you God for allowing me to get past myself.  I love pushing forward to a healthy me.

Remember tell yourself something positive about yourself today....just go do it.  I promise you will be smiling back at yourself soon and realizing you are a beautiful person inside and out.