Bargaining for what

I am amazed at just how much one person can learn about themselves.  I am the queen of procrastination that is for sure, I always try to be better at it but that goal just seems to be pushed off...hmm, more procrastination.   I also learned that procrastination is a great method of self sabotage.  Well, that just put a whole new perception on that!  I'm sure I have heard and read this numerous times, but some how when I read it this time it seemed to have turned on a light. 

Bargaining myself out of joy seems to be another good method of self sabotage that I discovered about myself just the other day.   I love to sew, aprons seem to make me very happy when I make them.  I love the designing, construction and seeing the what my completed project looks like.  I love giving them away that makes me even happier.   The last 3 years I have not made more than two aprons.  I never really thought much about it, until yesterday as I'm walking to the car and was bargaining with myself.  If you go to the gym you can sew....What!!!  I know I have tried to make this deal with myself more than once over the last couple of years.   Really....I haven't been sewing because I bargain something that brings me joy and others around me.  If I'm being joyful I am spreading that joy.  I love making something knowing I get to give it to someone.  My bargain deprived other people of joy!!

Well I let that one go pretty quick and whipped out a very cool Big Bang Theory apron, yes I gave it to my husband to use when he makes his famous chicken strip dinners (normally in his good work clothes).   Seriously one form of self sabotage whipped...now only if I could spell that sound effect.  Bargaining with yourself is not always a great thing to do, but if you must make sure you are not taking away something that brings joy.  When you feel joy you cant help but share it, don't take that away from yourself or the people around you.

I did hit the gym today.  Quad felt really good so I walked 3.5 miles today and burned 443 calories.  I even jogged a quarter mile of it today.  Averaged a 17 minute mile a good starting point, will be working to reduce that daily.  It felt really good and I rewarded myself with lots of kudos, oh and a new sports bra.  The girls pretty much got a work out on their own during the jog portion today.  I'm looking forward to the day when I can run that 3.5 miles.  I miss running.

Thank you God for giving me the strength to make this journey.

Remember to look in the mirror and tell yourself something positive about yourself...do it now.