Stress

The stress of dieting/getting healthy can really lead someone to just give the hell up!  Drink 8 glasses of water a day.  No beer or wine (particularly no fun), no carbs, no flour, no banana's no fruit in general.  Juice everyday, wait what?  I thought I couldn't have fruit.  Get up and work out before your brain figures it out.  You must eat breakfast within 30 minutes of waking, but wait aren't I supposed to be at the gym? Low-fat has more sugar added, low carb has more fat added. Ugh...it all gets really overwhelming and really frustrating which causes stress, which produces cortisol that adds mass to your belly, or so I have read.  How the heck are we supposed to know which is right and which is wrong.  I have been told you just have to find what works for you.  Really??   I feel like a floundering fish on the dock trying to get back into the water....I'm sure I heard about a diet where the guy ate Starbucks or McDonald's all year and lost weight.  What worked for me was a little pill called Phentramine, OK not really, old habits and triggers never resolved.

Stress is a huge trigger to eat for me, imagine being that floundering fish and feeling like dang I should have never eaten that worm!  Do you think the fish thought about eating the worm?  Do you think the fish analyzed his reason for wanting the worm? Nope he was hungry and ate the worm, no thought, no worry no analyzing what eating the worm meant.  The fish ate the worm for survival, he needed to feed so he did.  Sounds easy right...I should be able to not think about what I'm eating and just fuel my body.  Logically I totally understand this concept and really think that is what I should be able to do.  I should not have an emotional attachment to food.

I'm alot like that fish.  I just eat the worm, however it is not always out of hunger.  Usually after I have eaten I end up thinking about what and why I ate.  The decision of what I at is not always a bad one, unless we are going by the theory that fruit is forbidden.  Why I ate seems to be the one that keeps repeating itself.   The time of when I eat is another one that I am trying to really work on.

When my kids were young I would put them to bed and then the hubby would go to bed then I would sit down and "treat" myself to left over dinner or some more amazing dessert.  The house was quiet, I watched what I wanted and ate and enjoyed myself completely.  I continued this late night evening even after my children went away to college.  This cycle created the effect that I could not go to sleep without a full tummy.  Joy, another wrong signal.  I do have to be careful, hunger signals are now sent to my brain when I am tired.  My brain even starts the battle with me as I'm laying in bed....

I know I have written about attachment to food before, but this journey is not going to be one of those that I wrote about it and now it works (I wish).  I struggle with eating out of emotion, stress, boredom and being tired.  Everyday is there is a win and some loses, but each day I learn a bit more.  I am not at the gym everyday, but I am going at 3 times a week so far.  I still have a tendency to want to just stay home in my happy little bubble.

Remember to look in the mirror and tell yourself something positive about yourself today.